Keeping your relationship alive is the second most important thing in your life, right behind the baby being the most important. Lol.
Some of us tend to push the relationship aside because we are now so busy with all the projects we have going on as well as doing the usual baby stuff. Some of us push it aside because we have Someone new to put all our love into. And some of us push it aside for many other insignificant reasons.
Well, trust me when I say insignificant. I’ve been through and done all of these things without realizing I’m doing it and every time it turns out badly with a lot of unnecessary strain on the relationship. So I’ve put together a few ideas that I follow to help my relationship every day and it will help yours too so enjoy! 😀
A Baby Routine is Important
Usually, everyone works around the baby when he/she is firstborn, but after a month or two, there becomes a chance to tighten the reigns a bit and get the child into a routine that suits the baby and the parents.
What I mean here is let us say metaphorically speaking your newborn has eight feeds a day roughly every two and a half hours during the day and four hours between feeds at night.
If you were to write these times down that best suit both you and bub, then making sure they stick to that schedule but using objects to distract them till the next feed. For example, a shower and a bit of a gentle massage will stretch them about 30mins, or use a dummy so they suck on that and settle themselves.
Keeping them on schedule is rough at first but is worth it in the long ran because you will get to know how what bub needs and when he or she needs it. You will also find ways that make them happy and other ways that will comfort them. Not to mention all the extra bonding you will have in the process!
Which the frees up the time in between the feeds and naps where you can take your partner out and enjoy yourselves! with a happier baby comes a happy mother and father, and less strain on the relationship!
One Parent has the “Control” for bubs schedule
Another way to ease the strain that a newborn has on your relationship is to make sure you and your partner are not “bashing heads” about what’s best for the baby.
My partner and I struggled to figure this out, as this was my first child from birth and was the third for my partner so we both had very different ideas about what to do and how to go about it.
We found ourselves fighting over the stupid little stuff that doesn’t really matter in the long run. Like which way we put him to sleep, or how we burped him, or the way we held him to feed (he was bottle-fed).
Frankly, everyone has their own way of doing these things, and the baby will have his or her own way that they like it. You just need to remember that there are two parents doing this job but you need to stick to one routine!
I found the parent who is at home looking after bub all day long is the best choice for having the “control” because they will be the one who has to deal with any changes that may happen.
Or more to the point he or she will have to deal with the ups and downs of the changes that occur, so I found it best that they have the power to make those changes when necessary. I mean they do have the baby all day usually so they would have a better understanding of the babies routine (As much as I don’t like to admit it lol).
Remember the Little Things!
This is where most relationships will go downhill. All the little things you used to do for your partner have been forgotten about lately because there is a little human that needs 24/7 love and care.
Always do your best to remember the little things your partner does for you and every chance you get so something small for them. Like as simple as picking a flower from the garden and give it to her, or maybe on your way home one day pick up her favourite treat. Or even just a little back rub to end the day would go a long way on showing your love for her!
Communication is Key!
The Big “C” word! Yes, that’s right it’s the most important one as far as I can see! That’s because as humans we can not read each other minds so the only true way for the other person, in this case, your partner can know how you’re feeling or what you’re thinking is for you to speak about it!
Now you might be thinking, “But Grae we’ve been together for several years, and we know what each other wants in life and we know how each other things”
Let me tell you one thing I’ve learnt about being a parent is your children become your whole world and your partner from time to time gets forgotten about. Because of this everything changes, you start thinking differently, your partner starts doing things differently, and that’s when you both start to drift apart, and in some extreme circumstances will break up.
But, that won’t be you because you’re here learning how to grow from this instead!
The key to growing from this is making time each day to talk to your partner and get to know them again, make conversation, make her laugh, and most importantly make her feel like she is heard!
These seem to be the key things I found that helped my partner and I work through the day to day disagreements.
Raising a child isn’t as easy as everyone says, but then again if you focus on the good times and just do your best through the rough times, then raising a child while keeping your relationship strong are pretty easy!
It’s all up to you at the end of the day. So go out and do/be the best version of yourself and allow your partner to do the same and just work together every step of the way.
You will find most of the time it is the simple things that keep the partnership strong!
Thank you for reading!
P.s. Leave some tips in the comments that helped your relationship below, so we can all benefit from our shared knowledge!